Thursday, December 19, 2013

Where to start?

Wow, 2 months since my last post. Yikes! looks like I fell of the band wagon a bit! Well, I'm back in the States now and have a bit more time to sit and ponder the world! And lucky for you, you get to read about my random thought processes!

Let me catch you up to date a little bit on what's been going on the last couple months...

In the last 2 months I have been on 3 different continents. I have experienced 2 separate injuries. I've been in subzero temps and shorts and flip flop weather. I have fallen off rocks and fallen on snow, and seen several different mountain ranges from the Pyrenees to Patagonia. I have spent the equivalent of multiple days sitting in airports around the world and even more time cramped in little tiny airplane seats. These are just a few of the random things I have experienced since my last blog post....now where to start writing...

Planning your future is an odd concept to me. Many people spend their whole lives planning for their future and never truly live where they are in their lives currently. I have chosen a path that would scare most people. Not because I am climbing mountains, living in remote regions under the stars or in adverse weather, nor because I am scaling thousand foot rock faces. Although this would scare the majority of people i know, most people would be scared because my future is so uncertain. I don't have a job, I don't have any savings, I don't even really have a place to call home (other than my parents house where I haven't technically lived since high school days). So why am I subjecting myself to the uncomfortableness of not knowing? Because I am doing what I love. And I'm doing it now! I am not going to get old looking back on my life thinking I wish I would have...done more things, or taken a different path. I am going to look back on my life and know that I did everything I could to live life to its fullest...no regrets!

I may not have much money, but money doesn't run me. I have something far more valuable that: I've traded a life of comfortable living and security for a life of adventure, uncertainty, and wicked experiences! Money will always come and go (and its nice when it comes easily) but Its annoying how much money runs the world. There is so much more out there to experience, and experiences can't be taken away from you! these last few months as I have been embarking on this unknown, uncertain journey of becoming a mountain guide, I have become a richer person. Richer each moment despite the constant drip of money leaking from my bank account. I have experienced things I never thought I would...or even could! I plan on having more experiences and living life in a way that I can't even dream of  because I'm living NOW and banking the experience and sharing with those that I love!

Wow, I sat down to write today thinking I would tell some stories of my adventures. I started typing and this just started streaming from me. I guess the stories of rock climbing in world class venues,  almost chopping off my thumb while skiing, or scaling wind scoured patagonian peaks will have to wait for another time! :)


Friday, October 25, 2013

Keyhole: weather and wind walls (and other highlights from Patagonia) part 3

Weather has taken a whole new meaning for me since being in Patagonia. When the forecast says one thing, you can count on the fact that you will get that weather as well as a plethora of other weather accompanying it! And everything is magnified! If the weather calls for precipitation, expect to get wet. Even if you have the top of the line, brand new gore-tex suit of “armor” you can guarantee that you will get wet (if you doubt this, feel free to ask anyone of my team who collectively have spent thousands of dollars on the best money can buy only to find out that “guaranteed waterproof” is complete and utter bullshit!!) Nothing, I repeat, NOTHING is waterproof on the ice cap. If the forecast calls for high winds, stand your ground because its likely you'll be blown off your feet! IF the forecast calls for precipitation AND high winds, you better buckle up and pray because its going to be a hell of a day....or week!


Sitting and waiting for a bit of weather to pass before we advance our camp up to Keyhole was nothing short of a frustrating stint of “what the hell”. We had been waiting in near perfect weather for the better part of 2 weeks and then when we finally got the chance to advance, we had to wait even longer! You may think that sitting out weather in the valley on dirt and among trees shouldn't be that much different than 6 kilometers away camped on snow sheltered by handmade snow walls, but, it could mean the difference of losing gear, getting everything completely soaked and then frozen, becoming beyond exhausted keeping your tent and snow walls from getting buried, and consequently becoming completely demoralized knowing that you have waited days, weeks, months, years for the opportunity to experience this whiteout version of frozen hell.


The weather cleared and we moved camp from the shelter of trees in puesto camp in the soler valley up to Keyhole where we had cached all of our gear and rations. Time for the real fun to begin!


Keyhole, we learned, wasn't even on the ice cap proper. We had a matter of a few hundred meters to travel before reaching the infamous ice cap. But we had some much needed training to do before we could venture out onto the land of frozen bareness and survive. The first of which was building a wind wall to protect each of our three tents. The tents we use are top of the line Hilleberg expedition mountaineering tents, the best money can buy. However, it is still only a very thin piece of nylon fabric that separates you from the raging bull that bears down upon you without mercy we like to affectionately call Patagonian weather. In order to subsidize the damage caused by the wind and horizontally falling snow (snow doesn't fall down on the ice cap...there's no such thing...it only comes blasting horizontally from the side) we build wind walls. Wind walls are just what they sound to be....walls of snow to protect against the wind. You create a quarry and “mine” large blocks of snow and ice to build a 2-3 foot thick, 5-6 foot high fortress around your tent that inevitably falls down, deteriorates, and is rendered completely useless in a matter of days and in some cases hours. Building each wall takes about a minimum of 3 hours and is akin to doing hard labor on a chain gang. Needless to say, our backs weren't exactly prepared for the destroying power of shoveling out and lifting huge blocks of snow and ice for hours at a time!


Once built, wind walls must be continuously maintained because they will always deteriorate. Sun melts them, rendering them weak and useless. Rain deteriorates them, rendering them weak and useless. And wind will laugh in your face knowing that these measly little snow forts you have encased yourselves in is all you have to protect yourselves against her ferocity! JAJAJA!


This is mountaineering! A dream in the making, a goal we have aspired to, a hell we have willingly put ourselves in! Yee haw!



The best was yet to come!

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Tiny ropes and tiny caribiners (and other highlights from patagonia) part 2

Its always a bit frustrating when you circumstances dictate your reality for you without your consent. However, this is how, I suppose, most of our lives occur. I don't subscribe to the thought of manifest destiny or the whole concept of everything happens for a reason or even the concept of creating your reality...at least not fully. Some would and do argue these points with more vigor than people argue about different organized religions. But usually, as with arguments with religion, the two different sides haven't changed their opinions about anything!


Sitting and waiting for things to happen, worrying about things that are beyond your control is often a waste of brain power. Its easy to logically come to this conclusion as I’m sure all of you would agree with my thoughts. But how do you stop yourself, your mind, from going crazy with these exact thoughts of what do about things that are completely out of your control? Why do we immediately consume ourselves with things that we cannot change? It creates so much unneeded stress in our lives that can, in theory, be avoided if all we do is ignore the ramblings of our mind as it encroaches on our consciousness and creeps into and consumes every ounce of brain power rendering us uselessly stressed out.


I have sat for hours at a time, days on end just blinking, thinking, and inevitably....feeling stressed about things I cannot control. Its been quite the steep learning curve over the last month. I have found that spending time alone with your thoughts is actually a good thing. About a week into our ice cap expedition all my electronics were dead and there wasn't a day of sun in the forecast to even possibly recharge any of them with a solar charger. All I had was my inner voice to hang out with and talk to. And so I did...


Sitting and waiting at Palomar camp we were able to do minimal classes due to not having the proper equipment to actually practice and implement skills that we will need and use on this trip as well as throughout our careers as guides. However we did have some miniature carabiners and some pea-cord that we rigged up and practiced rescue techniques and some other rope and knot work on a very tiny scale!


Palomar camp was amazingly beautiful, however given our circumstances it made the gorgeous weather , views of towering peaks and surrounding waterfalls seem a bit more glorious as we wondered and contemplated our next move. What happens if the horses didn't arrive with our gear? What if sickness and injuries continued to plague us and we are unable to accomplish our goals we set out before this expedition? These and other scenarios, that were beyond our control, were plaguing our minds and adding to the stress and frustration of the situation. Then, without a care in the world, clipitty clop clippity clop, Don Ramon and his wife come trotting out of the woods with the horses and gear we've been waiting and praying for! There were definitely mixed feelings at this point among some of the team members. Not everyone was stoked on leaving the plush grass and sunny skies and the comforts of Palomar camp but nevertheless, we were set to move!


When we arrived at Puesto camp, we still had no gear after caching most of it up to keyhole, our entrance onto the looming ice cap. Productivity was at a stand still, yet again. However, on our second cache run a couple of days later, we retrieved one of the ropes and a bunch of technical gear so while we waited for injuries and infections to heal, we could practice practical skills we'd need while on the ice cap: namely crevasse rescue techniques. But there was one small problem: we weren't even on snow yet! So, again, this was mostly practicing a theory of the skills we would have to be masters of in case of a real emergency. At least it took up the better part of an afternoon which would have inevitably been spent staring off into space thinking of the “what ifs” in life.


Meanwhile, the weather forecast wasn't all sunshine and teddy bears anymore and we had to sit out two more days of weather before moving to Keyhole.





To be continued...

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Pooping in a bag (and other highlights from Patagonia)

There's something to be said for having the luxury of a porcelain throne to do your dirty business. But well beyond that, how many of you have longed for a piece of dirt to lay your eyes upon and dig yourself a glorious cat hole to poop in? This is exciting not for the reason you might think. Although I'm sure many of you have your own pooping in a hole horror stories, I'd be willing to bet that very few (if any aside from MTS) have had to regularly go outside in whiteout conditions in subzero temps with the wind nuking ridiculously strong and attempt to poop in a little plastic bag! This was my reality while on the Patagonian Ice Cap! Let me tell you, it was glorious to finally get back down from the ice cap into the Soler Valley and be able to poop in a hole in the ground!


Ok ok....enough about pooping, I’m sure you don't want to hear about my bodily movements as much as you do my adventures! 


I'm currently sitting in the Miami International Airport awaiting my connecting flight to Spain where i will have 6 weeks of rock climbing to attend to! But first let me share some of my ups and downs from Patagonia!


After spending a week on the bare ice glacier of Exploradores at the far northern reaches of the ice cap, we finally embarked on our expedition to experience and conquer the elusive and foreboding ice cap! Or so we thought! We drove 6-7 hours to the little town of Puerto Bertrand where we got dropped off and boarded a boat that would take us to the beginning of the Soler Valley. From there we would trek up with our first set of rations and all our personal gear to meet the horses carrying all of our climbing equipment and the next 4 sets of rations. In a perfect world, this would have taken one day from the boat to the first camp, John's Camp, another long day to Palomar Camp, then a third, fairly short day to Puesto Camp where we were supposed to meet the horses and start shuttling up our gear and rations up to the entrance to the Ice Cap, Keyhole. That is, of course, if everything went as planned...


Everything was going perfectly to plan until about hour 3 on day one when one of our team became quite ill with some sort of stomach virus or intestinal problem. We pushed on through the next day and arrived at Palomar camp with beautiful sunny weather and a magnificent views of numerous unnamed peaks on the distant ice cap. And there we sat....waiting. My tent mate, the sick one, was bed ridden (or tent/sleeping bag ridden is more accurate) for 3 days with frequent emergency runs to the”bathroom”. But luckily, or not so luckily, we were stuck there soaking up the sun and supreme weather twittling our thumbs waiting for the Gaucho, Don Ramon, to bring the horses with the rest of our gear....so, without the proper gear we were dead in the water....sitting and waiting.


Sitting and waiting....its becoming something quite synonymous with expedition climbing in tumultuously weathered locations...aka the northern Patagonian ice cap. The mental game of an expedition is so much more intense than the physical aspect. You can train your body to withstand pain, to get stronger or to push longer and harder, but when you aren't being physically strained to your absolute limit, the mental game of waiting is excruciating. Your mind is constantly wandering. Constantly calculating the what ifs of occurrences that could or could not be happening now, in the past or in the future of your life, the expedition and everything in between. Some would argue that you can train your brain. Train your mind to withstand such turmoil and strain. But the truth is there is nothing like going through days, weeks, and longer and facing your own demons on your own. I'm sure I’ll talk more about this....it takes time to decompress, to understand what you've learned and faced. So I’ll ramble on more about this in future blogs....


Finally, the stomach virus cleared up and the horses came and dropped our gear off at the next camp! We had movement! We had movement until a different team member obtained a massive hole in the front of his ankle from shin bang and could hardly walk (let alone hike with massive loads over difficult terrain) due to infections and swelling....back to sitting and waiting....


We made it to Puesto Camp where some of us were able to do some cache runs up to keyhole, the entrance to the ice cap. And then we sat and waited. Waited for our glorious weather window to disappear and for our mates' shin bang to heal so he could walk!


Let's do a quick recap....we waited for 4 extra days for the horses to arrive with our stuff, then another 3 days due to injuries. At this point we've had fantastic bluebird weather....so, in classic Patagonian style, the weather decided come right when we were able to move onto the ice cap.



To be continued....

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

The Waiting Game

After 3 weeks of putzing around base camp waiting out rainy weather, we finally got to get out and do a week of ice climbing and rope systems training. Dealing with boredom, expensive everything, and the prospect of going out to suffer in less than ideal weather put us in a state of second guessing our decision to embark on this guide school journey. What are we doing but waiting only to suffer on the ice cap?


This adventure has had its ups and downs, physically, mentally and emotionally. It feels like whenever I’m on top of the world is when the world starts to collapse underneath me. Walking above the crowd on stilts only to have someone kick them out from underneath you. It hurts when you fall, but it makes you stronger and more resilient. You learn how to get back on top and continue on into uncharted territories and explore yourself and your dreams! I am staying the course, it'll take more than a few bumps, albeit massive bumps, in the road to derail me from my dream life. I am so fortunate to have people who love me support me and encourage me following my dreams.


This last week we had gorgeous weather for ice climbing and training while out on the Exploradores Glacier. Unheard of nice weather for Patagonia! I feel spoiled to have such nice weather in a place infamous for absolutely terrible weather, but I’ll take it! I know the storms will come, the hurricane force winds will pin us down, we'll get dumped on with multiple feet of snow a day forcing us to continuously dig our tents out on rotating dig shifts 24 hours a day for days or weeks at a time. Our time will come and we will suffer. But as with each down, the resulting up will be all that much better!



Thank you all for supporting me in this journey. Giving me the strength to seek after my dreams. I don't give you all enough credit. It makes me so happy when I can share my adventures with everyone who has believed in me and continue to shower me with praises for following my heart. Thank you and I love you all!

Sunday, August 25, 2013

A Myriad of Firsts: Patagonian Backcountry Skiing

Have you ever been in wind so strong it blows your tent flat? Wait, scratch that, have you ever been in wind so strong it blows your 4 season expedition tent completely flat on top of you in winter while you pray the wind hasn't broken your skis in half as they stick halfway out of the snow outside your tent? Welcome to the first day and night of my first Patagonian backcountry skiing trip!


Have you ever skied fresh tracks 400 vertical meters of fresh blower powder in a couloir under a gigantic full moon? Welcome to night 2 of my first Patagonian backcountry ski trip!


The 3 day wasn't quite as epic....oh wait yes it was! My biggest vertical relief I've ever skied (yet)! 700 plus vertical meters of face shots and giggling my way down a massive bowl linking turn after turn after turn! Looking back up and seeing a bright big blue sky over top of my gorgeous “S” turns! Is this for real?


Just shy of the pass in the Cerro Castillo National Reserve, we made camp for 5 days of avalanche training, and amazing skiing! Thinking back on my experience of my first backcountry trip in Chile, I can hardly believe it was real. The tips of my toes haven't quite come completely back to feeling, but I can still feel the bite of the freezing wind as I scream down powder lines experiencing elation I didn't think was possible! I'm addicted.


Waiting out a rest day, watching the weather, trying to keep warm in minus 7 degree weather, sitting through heavy case studies of past avalanches, I can't wait to get back out skiing! A few more days of backcountry skiing, one more in the resort for an end of the week dump, then avalanche review and testing and debrief and my first ski course for GS8 will come to an end. Fortunately more fun will follow....10 days of hard ice climbing and instruction after which we will slog onto the Ice Cap for a month of mountaineering madness few in the world have experienced!



Can I wait for it all? Not really, but it will all unfold one step at a time!

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Powder Skiing and the Waiting Game

Skiing 40 cm of fresh powder is almost as fun as a ten year old with free reign of Disneyworld. Actually, I have no idea if that's fun at all, but I DO know that skiing 40 cm of fresh powder is quite an elating experience! The literal ice sheet that we skied on earlier this week is only a distant memory! We are all getting better at skiing! Some of the guys doubling their experience with the two days we've been, and others of us able to shred the entire mountain searching for as many fresh new runs as possible! I've never really skied trees before, or at least with much success, and now I can't stay out of them! Tree skiing is super fun for many reasons, but, as you can imagine, also tends to have more dangers than skiing wide open runs!


I've been looking forward to our first backcountry skiing trip for a while! In fact, I actually took a shower for the first time since getting down to Chile in anticipation of this trip! We were supposed to leave this morning, but, as luck would have it, because of the volatility of Patagonian weather we've had warm temps and its been dumping rain at the elevation we were intending to go. Therefore we are sitting here at basecamp twiddling our thumbs watching ski videos trying to keep our stoke up for the impending wet few days we are expecting to have while drilling our avalanche rescue skills in the rain!


Speaking of sitting around doing whatever you can to fill the time waiting out nasty weather, GS7 (guide school 7) was supposed to leave to do their advanced mountaineering course on the ice cap a week ago! Due to forecasted 3 meters of snow accompanied by up to 140km/hr winds for days on end, they have been stuck here at basecamp going out of their minds! And so it goes as the life of a mountaineer in the illustrious Patagonian mountains! Even the lift at the local ski resort shuts down through out the day for an hour or so due to high winds and zero visibility! Needless to say, there is a very distinct reason this region is said to have some of the worst weather on the planet! What better a place than here to cut our teeth training to be mountain guides! Understanding what it means to suffer coupled with being able to make sound decisions for the sake of the safety of the group are paramount for being a guide of any sort in the mountains! Its sounds weird to say I’m looking forward to our suffer fest here in Patagonia, but strangely, I am. I have been looking forward to this for as long as I can remember! I heard a quote by a prominent mountaineer that has stuck with me for a long time, “Alpinism is the art of suffering” and yet here I still am seeking after this as a lifelong goal! And as some of you might have heard me say before...”we didn't get dressed up for nothing!”