Pooping in a bag (and other highlights from Patagonia)

There's something to be said for having the luxury of a porcelain throne to do your dirty business. But well beyond that, how many of you have longed for a piece of dirt to lay your eyes upon and dig yourself a glorious cat hole to poop in? This is exciting not for the reason you might think. Although I'm sure many of you have your own pooping in a hole horror stories, I'd be willing to bet that very few (if any aside from MTS) have had to regularly go outside in whiteout conditions in subzero temps with the wind nuking ridiculously strong and attempt to poop in a little plastic bag! This was my reality while on the Patagonian Ice Cap! Let me tell you, it was glorious to finally get back down from the ice cap into the Soler Valley and be able to poop in a hole in the ground!


Ok ok....enough about pooping, I’m sure you don't want to hear about my bodily movements as much as you do my adventures! 


I'm currently sitting in the Miami International Airport awaiting my connecting flight to Spain where i will have 6 weeks of rock climbing to attend to! But first let me share some of my ups and downs from Patagonia!


After spending a week on the bare ice glacier of Exploradores at the far northern reaches of the ice cap, we finally embarked on our expedition to experience and conquer the elusive and foreboding ice cap! Or so we thought! We drove 6-7 hours to the little town of Puerto Bertrand where we got dropped off and boarded a boat that would take us to the beginning of the Soler Valley. From there we would trek up with our first set of rations and all our personal gear to meet the horses carrying all of our climbing equipment and the next 4 sets of rations. In a perfect world, this would have taken one day from the boat to the first camp, John's Camp, another long day to Palomar Camp, then a third, fairly short day to Puesto Camp where we were supposed to meet the horses and start shuttling up our gear and rations up to the entrance to the Ice Cap, Keyhole. That is, of course, if everything went as planned...


Everything was going perfectly to plan until about hour 3 on day one when one of our team became quite ill with some sort of stomach virus or intestinal problem. We pushed on through the next day and arrived at Palomar camp with beautiful sunny weather and a magnificent views of numerous unnamed peaks on the distant ice cap. And there we sat....waiting. My tent mate, the sick one, was bed ridden (or tent/sleeping bag ridden is more accurate) for 3 days with frequent emergency runs to the”bathroom”. But luckily, or not so luckily, we were stuck there soaking up the sun and supreme weather twittling our thumbs waiting for the Gaucho, Don Ramon, to bring the horses with the rest of our gear....so, without the proper gear we were dead in the water....sitting and waiting.


Sitting and waiting....its becoming something quite synonymous with expedition climbing in tumultuously weathered locations...aka the northern Patagonian ice cap. The mental game of an expedition is so much more intense than the physical aspect. You can train your body to withstand pain, to get stronger or to push longer and harder, but when you aren't being physically strained to your absolute limit, the mental game of waiting is excruciating. Your mind is constantly wandering. Constantly calculating the what ifs of occurrences that could or could not be happening now, in the past or in the future of your life, the expedition and everything in between. Some would argue that you can train your brain. Train your mind to withstand such turmoil and strain. But the truth is there is nothing like going through days, weeks, and longer and facing your own demons on your own. I'm sure I’ll talk more about this....it takes time to decompress, to understand what you've learned and faced. So I’ll ramble on more about this in future blogs....


Finally, the stomach virus cleared up and the horses came and dropped our gear off at the next camp! We had movement! We had movement until a different team member obtained a massive hole in the front of his ankle from shin bang and could hardly walk (let alone hike with massive loads over difficult terrain) due to infections and swelling....back to sitting and waiting....


We made it to Puesto Camp where some of us were able to do some cache runs up to keyhole, the entrance to the ice cap. And then we sat and waited. Waited for our glorious weather window to disappear and for our mates' shin bang to heal so he could walk!


Let's do a quick recap....we waited for 4 extra days for the horses to arrive with our stuff, then another 3 days due to injuries. At this point we've had fantastic bluebird weather....so, in classic Patagonian style, the weather decided come right when we were able to move onto the ice cap.



To be continued....