Its always a bit frustrating when you circumstances dictate your
reality for you without your consent. However, this is how, I
suppose, most of our lives occur. I don't subscribe to the thought of
manifest destiny or the whole concept of everything happens for a
reason or even the concept of creating your reality...at least not
fully. Some would and do argue these points with more vigor than
people argue about different organized religions. But usually, as
with arguments with religion, the two different sides haven't changed
their opinions about anything!
Sitting and waiting for things to happen, worrying about things
that are beyond your control is often a waste of brain power. Its
easy to logically come to this conclusion as I’m sure all of you
would agree with my thoughts. But how do you stop yourself, your
mind, from going crazy with these exact thoughts of what do about
things that are completely out of your control? Why do we immediately
consume ourselves with things that we cannot change? It creates so
much unneeded stress in our lives that can, in theory, be avoided if
all we do is ignore the ramblings of our mind as it encroaches on
our consciousness and creeps into and consumes every ounce of brain
power rendering us uselessly stressed out.
I have sat for hours at a time, days on end just blinking,
thinking, and inevitably....feeling stressed about things I cannot
control. Its been quite the steep learning curve over the last month.
I have found that spending time alone with your thoughts is actually
a good thing. About a week into our ice cap expedition all my
electronics were dead and there wasn't a day of sun in the forecast
to even possibly recharge any of them with a solar charger. All I had
was my inner voice to hang out with and talk to. And so I did...
Sitting and waiting at Palomar camp we were able to do minimal
classes due to not having the proper equipment to actually practice
and implement skills that we will need and use on this trip as well
as throughout our careers as guides. However we did have some
miniature carabiners and some pea-cord that we rigged up and
practiced rescue techniques and some other rope and knot work on a
very tiny scale!
Palomar camp was amazingly beautiful, however given our
circumstances it made the gorgeous weather , views of towering peaks
and surrounding waterfalls seem a bit more glorious as we wondered
and contemplated our next move. What happens if the horses didn't
arrive with our gear? What if sickness and injuries continued to
plague us and we are unable to accomplish our goals we set out before
this expedition? These and other scenarios, that were beyond our
control, were plaguing our minds and adding to the stress and
frustration of the situation. Then, without a care in the world,
clipitty clop clippity clop, Don Ramon and his wife come trotting out
of the woods with the horses and gear we've been waiting and praying
for! There were definitely mixed feelings at this point among some of
the team members. Not everyone was stoked on leaving the plush grass
and sunny skies and the comforts of Palomar camp but nevertheless, we
were set to move!
When we arrived at Puesto camp, we still had no gear after caching
most of it up to keyhole, our entrance onto the looming ice cap.
Productivity was at a stand still, yet again. However, on our second
cache run a couple of days later, we retrieved one of the ropes and a
bunch of technical gear so while we waited for injuries and
infections to heal, we could practice practical skills we'd need
while on the ice cap: namely crevasse rescue techniques. But there
was one small problem: we weren't even on snow yet! So, again, this
was mostly practicing a theory of the skills we would have to be
masters of in case of a real emergency. At least it took up the
better part of an afternoon which would have inevitably been spent
staring off into space thinking of the “what ifs” in life.
Meanwhile, the weather forecast wasn't all sunshine and teddy
bears anymore and we had to sit out two more days of weather before
moving to Keyhole.
To be continued...
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Pooping in a bag (and other highlights from Patagonia)
There's
something to be said for having the luxury of a porcelain throne to
do your dirty business. But well beyond that, how many of you have
longed for a piece of dirt to lay your eyes upon and dig yourself a
glorious cat hole to poop in? This is exciting not for the reason you
might think. Although I'm sure many of you have your own pooping in a
hole horror stories, I'd be willing to bet that very few (if any
aside from MTS) have had to regularly go outside in whiteout
conditions in subzero temps with the wind nuking ridiculously strong
and attempt to poop in a little plastic bag! This was my reality
while on the Patagonian Ice Cap! Let me tell you, it was glorious to
finally get back down from the ice cap into the Soler Valley and be
able to poop in a hole in the ground!
Ok ok....enough about pooping, I’m sure you don't want to hear about my bodily movements as much as you do my adventures!
I'm currently sitting in the Miami International Airport awaiting my connecting flight to Spain where i will have 6 weeks of rock climbing to attend to! But first let me share some of my ups and downs from Patagonia!
After spending a week on the bare ice glacier of Exploradores at the far northern reaches of the ice cap, we finally embarked on our expedition to experience and conquer the elusive and foreboding ice cap! Or so we thought! We drove 6-7 hours to the little town of Puerto Bertrand where we got dropped off and boarded a boat that would take us to the beginning of the Soler Valley. From there we would trek up with our first set of rations and all our personal gear to meet the horses carrying all of our climbing equipment and the next 4 sets of rations. In a perfect world, this would have taken one day from the boat to the first camp, John's Camp, another long day to Palomar Camp, then a third, fairly short day to Puesto Camp where we were supposed to meet the horses and start shuttling up our gear and rations up to the entrance to the Ice Cap, Keyhole. That is, of course, if everything went as planned...
Everything was going perfectly to plan until about hour 3 on day one when one of our team became quite ill with some sort of stomach virus or intestinal problem. We pushed on through the next day and arrived at Palomar camp with beautiful sunny weather and a magnificent views of numerous unnamed peaks on the distant ice cap. And there we sat....waiting. My tent mate, the sick one, was bed ridden (or tent/sleeping bag ridden is more accurate) for 3 days with frequent emergency runs to the”bathroom”. But luckily, or not so luckily, we were stuck there soaking up the sun and supreme weather twittling our thumbs waiting for the Gaucho, Don Ramon, to bring the horses with the rest of our gear....so, without the proper gear we were dead in the water....sitting and waiting.
Sitting and waiting....its becoming something quite synonymous with expedition climbing in tumultuously weathered locations...aka the northern Patagonian ice cap. The mental game of an expedition is so much more intense than the physical aspect. You can train your body to withstand pain, to get stronger or to push longer and harder, but when you aren't being physically strained to your absolute limit, the mental game of waiting is excruciating. Your mind is constantly wandering. Constantly calculating the what ifs of occurrences that could or could not be happening now, in the past or in the future of your life, the expedition and everything in between. Some would argue that you can train your brain. Train your mind to withstand such turmoil and strain. But the truth is there is nothing like going through days, weeks, and longer and facing your own demons on your own. I'm sure I’ll talk more about this....it takes time to decompress, to understand what you've learned and faced. So I’ll ramble on more about this in future blogs....
Finally, the stomach virus cleared up and the horses came and dropped our gear off at the next camp! We had movement! We had movement until a different team member obtained a massive hole in the front of his ankle from shin bang and could hardly walk (let alone hike with massive loads over difficult terrain) due to infections and swelling....back to sitting and waiting....
We made it to Puesto Camp where some of us were able to do some cache runs up to keyhole, the entrance to the ice cap. And then we sat and waited. Waited for our glorious weather window to disappear and for our mates' shin bang to heal so he could walk!
Let's do a quick recap....we waited for 4 extra days for the horses to arrive with our stuff, then another 3 days due to injuries. At this point we've had fantastic bluebird weather....so, in classic Patagonian style, the weather decided come right when we were able to move onto the ice cap.
To be continued....
Ok ok....enough about pooping, I’m sure you don't want to hear about my bodily movements as much as you do my adventures!
I'm currently sitting in the Miami International Airport awaiting my connecting flight to Spain where i will have 6 weeks of rock climbing to attend to! But first let me share some of my ups and downs from Patagonia!
After spending a week on the bare ice glacier of Exploradores at the far northern reaches of the ice cap, we finally embarked on our expedition to experience and conquer the elusive and foreboding ice cap! Or so we thought! We drove 6-7 hours to the little town of Puerto Bertrand where we got dropped off and boarded a boat that would take us to the beginning of the Soler Valley. From there we would trek up with our first set of rations and all our personal gear to meet the horses carrying all of our climbing equipment and the next 4 sets of rations. In a perfect world, this would have taken one day from the boat to the first camp, John's Camp, another long day to Palomar Camp, then a third, fairly short day to Puesto Camp where we were supposed to meet the horses and start shuttling up our gear and rations up to the entrance to the Ice Cap, Keyhole. That is, of course, if everything went as planned...
Everything was going perfectly to plan until about hour 3 on day one when one of our team became quite ill with some sort of stomach virus or intestinal problem. We pushed on through the next day and arrived at Palomar camp with beautiful sunny weather and a magnificent views of numerous unnamed peaks on the distant ice cap. And there we sat....waiting. My tent mate, the sick one, was bed ridden (or tent/sleeping bag ridden is more accurate) for 3 days with frequent emergency runs to the”bathroom”. But luckily, or not so luckily, we were stuck there soaking up the sun and supreme weather twittling our thumbs waiting for the Gaucho, Don Ramon, to bring the horses with the rest of our gear....so, without the proper gear we were dead in the water....sitting and waiting.
Sitting and waiting....its becoming something quite synonymous with expedition climbing in tumultuously weathered locations...aka the northern Patagonian ice cap. The mental game of an expedition is so much more intense than the physical aspect. You can train your body to withstand pain, to get stronger or to push longer and harder, but when you aren't being physically strained to your absolute limit, the mental game of waiting is excruciating. Your mind is constantly wandering. Constantly calculating the what ifs of occurrences that could or could not be happening now, in the past or in the future of your life, the expedition and everything in between. Some would argue that you can train your brain. Train your mind to withstand such turmoil and strain. But the truth is there is nothing like going through days, weeks, and longer and facing your own demons on your own. I'm sure I’ll talk more about this....it takes time to decompress, to understand what you've learned and faced. So I’ll ramble on more about this in future blogs....
Finally, the stomach virus cleared up and the horses came and dropped our gear off at the next camp! We had movement! We had movement until a different team member obtained a massive hole in the front of his ankle from shin bang and could hardly walk (let alone hike with massive loads over difficult terrain) due to infections and swelling....back to sitting and waiting....
We made it to Puesto Camp where some of us were able to do some cache runs up to keyhole, the entrance to the ice cap. And then we sat and waited. Waited for our glorious weather window to disappear and for our mates' shin bang to heal so he could walk!
Let's do a quick recap....we waited for 4 extra days for the horses to arrive with our stuff, then another 3 days due to injuries. At this point we've had fantastic bluebird weather....so, in classic Patagonian style, the weather decided come right when we were able to move onto the ice cap.
To be continued....
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
The Waiting Game
After 3 weeks of putzing around base camp waiting out rainy
weather, we finally got to get out and do a week of ice climbing and
rope systems training. Dealing with boredom, expensive everything,
and the prospect of going out to suffer in less than ideal weather
put us in a state of second guessing our decision to embark on this
guide school journey. What are we doing but waiting only to suffer on
the ice cap?
This adventure has had its ups and downs, physically, mentally and emotionally. It feels like whenever I’m on top of the world is when the world starts to collapse underneath me. Walking above the crowd on stilts only to have someone kick them out from underneath you. It hurts when you fall, but it makes you stronger and more resilient. You learn how to get back on top and continue on into uncharted territories and explore yourself and your dreams! I am staying the course, it'll take more than a few bumps, albeit massive bumps, in the road to derail me from my dream life. I am so fortunate to have people who love me support me and encourage me following my dreams.
This last week we had gorgeous weather for ice climbing and training while out on the Exploradores Glacier. Unheard of nice weather for Patagonia! I feel spoiled to have such nice weather in a place infamous for absolutely terrible weather, but I’ll take it! I know the storms will come, the hurricane force winds will pin us down, we'll get dumped on with multiple feet of snow a day forcing us to continuously dig our tents out on rotating dig shifts 24 hours a day for days or weeks at a time. Our time will come and we will suffer. But as with each down, the resulting up will be all that much better!
Thank you all for supporting me in this journey. Giving me the strength to seek after my dreams. I don't give you all enough credit. It makes me so happy when I can share my adventures with everyone who has believed in me and continue to shower me with praises for following my heart. Thank you and I love you all!
This adventure has had its ups and downs, physically, mentally and emotionally. It feels like whenever I’m on top of the world is when the world starts to collapse underneath me. Walking above the crowd on stilts only to have someone kick them out from underneath you. It hurts when you fall, but it makes you stronger and more resilient. You learn how to get back on top and continue on into uncharted territories and explore yourself and your dreams! I am staying the course, it'll take more than a few bumps, albeit massive bumps, in the road to derail me from my dream life. I am so fortunate to have people who love me support me and encourage me following my dreams.
This last week we had gorgeous weather for ice climbing and training while out on the Exploradores Glacier. Unheard of nice weather for Patagonia! I feel spoiled to have such nice weather in a place infamous for absolutely terrible weather, but I’ll take it! I know the storms will come, the hurricane force winds will pin us down, we'll get dumped on with multiple feet of snow a day forcing us to continuously dig our tents out on rotating dig shifts 24 hours a day for days or weeks at a time. Our time will come and we will suffer. But as with each down, the resulting up will be all that much better!
Thank you all for supporting me in this journey. Giving me the strength to seek after my dreams. I don't give you all enough credit. It makes me so happy when I can share my adventures with everyone who has believed in me and continue to shower me with praises for following my heart. Thank you and I love you all!
Sunday, August 25, 2013
A Myriad of Firsts: Patagonian Backcountry Skiing
Have you ever been in wind so strong it blows your tent flat?
Wait, scratch that, have you ever been in wind so strong it blows
your 4 season expedition tent completely flat on top of you in winter
while you pray the wind hasn't broken your skis in half as they stick
halfway out of the snow outside your tent? Welcome to the first day
and night of my first Patagonian backcountry skiing trip!
Have you ever skied fresh tracks 400 vertical meters of fresh blower powder in a couloir under a gigantic full moon? Welcome to night 2 of my first Patagonian backcountry ski trip!
The 3 day wasn't quite as epic....oh wait yes it was! My biggest vertical relief I've ever skied (yet)! 700 plus vertical meters of face shots and giggling my way down a massive bowl linking turn after turn after turn! Looking back up and seeing a bright big blue sky over top of my gorgeous “S” turns! Is this for real?
Just shy of the pass in the Cerro Castillo National Reserve, we made camp for 5 days of avalanche training, and amazing skiing! Thinking back on my experience of my first backcountry trip in Chile, I can hardly believe it was real. The tips of my toes haven't quite come completely back to feeling, but I can still feel the bite of the freezing wind as I scream down powder lines experiencing elation I didn't think was possible! I'm addicted.
Waiting out a rest day, watching the weather, trying to keep warm in minus 7 degree weather, sitting through heavy case studies of past avalanches, I can't wait to get back out skiing! A few more days of backcountry skiing, one more in the resort for an end of the week dump, then avalanche review and testing and debrief and my first ski course for GS8 will come to an end. Fortunately more fun will follow....10 days of hard ice climbing and instruction after which we will slog onto the Ice Cap for a month of mountaineering madness few in the world have experienced!
Can I wait for it all? Not really, but it will all unfold one step at a time!
Have you ever skied fresh tracks 400 vertical meters of fresh blower powder in a couloir under a gigantic full moon? Welcome to night 2 of my first Patagonian backcountry ski trip!
The 3 day wasn't quite as epic....oh wait yes it was! My biggest vertical relief I've ever skied (yet)! 700 plus vertical meters of face shots and giggling my way down a massive bowl linking turn after turn after turn! Looking back up and seeing a bright big blue sky over top of my gorgeous “S” turns! Is this for real?
Just shy of the pass in the Cerro Castillo National Reserve, we made camp for 5 days of avalanche training, and amazing skiing! Thinking back on my experience of my first backcountry trip in Chile, I can hardly believe it was real. The tips of my toes haven't quite come completely back to feeling, but I can still feel the bite of the freezing wind as I scream down powder lines experiencing elation I didn't think was possible! I'm addicted.
Waiting out a rest day, watching the weather, trying to keep warm in minus 7 degree weather, sitting through heavy case studies of past avalanches, I can't wait to get back out skiing! A few more days of backcountry skiing, one more in the resort for an end of the week dump, then avalanche review and testing and debrief and my first ski course for GS8 will come to an end. Fortunately more fun will follow....10 days of hard ice climbing and instruction after which we will slog onto the Ice Cap for a month of mountaineering madness few in the world have experienced!
Can I wait for it all? Not really, but it will all unfold one step at a time!
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Powder Skiing and the Waiting Game
Skiing 40 cm of fresh powder is almost as fun as a ten year old
with free reign of Disneyworld. Actually, I have no idea if that's
fun at all, but I DO know that skiing 40 cm of fresh powder is quite
an elating experience! The literal ice sheet that we skied on
earlier this week is only a distant memory! We are all getting better
at skiing! Some of the guys doubling their experience with the two
days we've been, and others of us able to shred the entire mountain
searching for as many fresh new runs as possible! I've never really
skied trees before, or at least with much success, and now I can't
stay out of them! Tree skiing is super fun for many reasons, but, as
you can imagine, also tends to have more dangers than skiing wide
open runs!
I've been looking forward to our first backcountry skiing trip for a while! In fact, I actually took a shower for the first time since getting down to Chile in anticipation of this trip! We were supposed to leave this morning, but, as luck would have it, because of the volatility of Patagonian weather we've had warm temps and its been dumping rain at the elevation we were intending to go. Therefore we are sitting here at basecamp twiddling our thumbs watching ski videos trying to keep our stoke up for the impending wet few days we are expecting to have while drilling our avalanche rescue skills in the rain!
Speaking of sitting around doing whatever you can to fill the time waiting out nasty weather, GS7 (guide school 7) was supposed to leave to do their advanced mountaineering course on the ice cap a week ago! Due to forecasted 3 meters of snow accompanied by up to 140km/hr winds for days on end, they have been stuck here at basecamp going out of their minds! And so it goes as the life of a mountaineer in the illustrious Patagonian mountains! Even the lift at the local ski resort shuts down through out the day for an hour or so due to high winds and zero visibility! Needless to say, there is a very distinct reason this region is said to have some of the worst weather on the planet! What better a place than here to cut our teeth training to be mountain guides! Understanding what it means to suffer coupled with being able to make sound decisions for the sake of the safety of the group are paramount for being a guide of any sort in the mountains! Its sounds weird to say I’m looking forward to our suffer fest here in Patagonia, but strangely, I am. I have been looking forward to this for as long as I can remember! I heard a quote by a prominent mountaineer that has stuck with me for a long time, “Alpinism is the art of suffering” and yet here I still am seeking after this as a lifelong goal! And as some of you might have heard me say before...”we didn't get dressed up for nothing!”
I've been looking forward to our first backcountry skiing trip for a while! In fact, I actually took a shower for the first time since getting down to Chile in anticipation of this trip! We were supposed to leave this morning, but, as luck would have it, because of the volatility of Patagonian weather we've had warm temps and its been dumping rain at the elevation we were intending to go. Therefore we are sitting here at basecamp twiddling our thumbs watching ski videos trying to keep our stoke up for the impending wet few days we are expecting to have while drilling our avalanche rescue skills in the rain!
Speaking of sitting around doing whatever you can to fill the time waiting out nasty weather, GS7 (guide school 7) was supposed to leave to do their advanced mountaineering course on the ice cap a week ago! Due to forecasted 3 meters of snow accompanied by up to 140km/hr winds for days on end, they have been stuck here at basecamp going out of their minds! And so it goes as the life of a mountaineer in the illustrious Patagonian mountains! Even the lift at the local ski resort shuts down through out the day for an hour or so due to high winds and zero visibility! Needless to say, there is a very distinct reason this region is said to have some of the worst weather on the planet! What better a place than here to cut our teeth training to be mountain guides! Understanding what it means to suffer coupled with being able to make sound decisions for the sake of the safety of the group are paramount for being a guide of any sort in the mountains! Its sounds weird to say I’m looking forward to our suffer fest here in Patagonia, but strangely, I am. I have been looking forward to this for as long as I can remember! I heard a quote by a prominent mountaineer that has stuck with me for a long time, “Alpinism is the art of suffering” and yet here I still am seeking after this as a lifelong goal! And as some of you might have heard me say before...”we didn't get dressed up for nothing!”
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Ice Skiing in Patagonia
Skiing on ice is terrible. Skiing on ice in high winds with powder
skis and tech bindings is far worse than terrible! Thus was my
experience on my first day of my ski course here in Patagonia!
Let me back up...saying the skiing was worse than terrible sounds a bit harsh, but no one would have chosen to ski in these conditions unless you had to. In fact the ski “resort”, called El Fraile located here just outside of the town Coyhaique, Chile, wasn't even open. And to be completely honest, I had a fantastic time, and here's why: If you love to ski, as I do, coupled with smiling faces of friends, skiing in August (a phenomenon for us who normally reside in the northern hemisphere) and a lifty that only knew one English word, “lunch”, and kept saying it over and over again because he really didn't have any idea what that one word meant, you get pure joy!
Unfortunately, that joy was short lived as the following two days the resort was closed and our instructors saw no point in going up to ski in windy, icy, and over all quite dangerous conditions. So we have been pounding out some avalanche curriculum previously slated for later this week. Hopefully we will be getting some snow coming in this week and be able to ski some decent snow at the resort before we head out for a couple different multi-day backcountry skiing excursions!
Let me back up...saying the skiing was worse than terrible sounds a bit harsh, but no one would have chosen to ski in these conditions unless you had to. In fact the ski “resort”, called El Fraile located here just outside of the town Coyhaique, Chile, wasn't even open. And to be completely honest, I had a fantastic time, and here's why: If you love to ski, as I do, coupled with smiling faces of friends, skiing in August (a phenomenon for us who normally reside in the northern hemisphere) and a lifty that only knew one English word, “lunch”, and kept saying it over and over again because he really didn't have any idea what that one word meant, you get pure joy!
Unfortunately, that joy was short lived as the following two days the resort was closed and our instructors saw no point in going up to ski in windy, icy, and over all quite dangerous conditions. So we have been pounding out some avalanche curriculum previously slated for later this week. Hopefully we will be getting some snow coming in this week and be able to ski some decent snow at the resort before we head out for a couple different multi-day backcountry skiing excursions!
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Thoughts from far above the earth...(aka a blog written while flying :) )
Some consider me well traveled, and to someone who has never left
their home country, I am. I have traveled to and spent time in 15
different countries, but have never dipped below the elusive equator
and explored any parts of the southern hemisphere...today I win the
game of chicken I've been playing with South America. I am flying
south to the southern end of the skinny coastal country of Chile. I
will finally get fresh stamps in my new, naked, neglected passport. I
was proud of my old passport because it was well worn. It had a
plethora of stamps from Latin America and from all over Eastern
Europe. Most people never even come close to filling a passport with
stamps and end up being proud of the one or two bits of “traveling”
they've done to westernized countries or cities, claiming they have
the knowledge, perspective, and the experience of someone who has
been overseas and “seen the world.” Its true that someone can get
a glimpse of another culture from tasting true local cuisine, or
shopping in an open air market in the center of town. But its just a
glimpse and not a very good one at that (usually). How many of them
retreat to the comfort of their air conditioned hotel room when the
100 plus degree weather starts to beat down on them? How many people
keep their “valuables” in a “secret” travel belt so they
don't get pick-pocketed? How many people put away their preconceived
notions of what is “safe” to eat and eat at the locals food
stand. How many people go to a poverty stricken country, a war
ravaged land, or a humanity raped culture with thoughts of grandeur
because they are going to “help” those people? If we continue to
experience “cultures” the way we think they should be rather than
how they actually are, or try to “fix” them according to our own
beliefs or values never to return again, how is that experiencing
anything other than another rendition of our own selfish realities
simply filtered through a 3D mirage of a week long “vacation” or
“mission”?
My mom is the Director of World Missions at her church in Salem, where I grew up. I love my mom more than anything in the world...shes my mother, why wouldn't I? She is one of the most well traveled individuals I have ever known. She doesn't travel to popular places, stay at resorts, or frankly doesn't even enjoy some of the trips that she goes on. Nor does she go to try to fix the world with her religion claiming that they are simply lost souls needing to convert to her way of thinking or her own personal convictions. She goes in support of people who live there, she develops personal relationships with people and builds on those relationships even after her short visit, in order to serve them better. My mom and I do not always see eye to eye on a lot of life’s finer points, but I respect her for the work that she does. I respect her for going out of her comfort zone and doing what she does, loving on people in a way she describes as sharing the love of Jesus and sharing it with people who may not know that anyone in this world (or any other world) loves them. Its not a forced “you must believe what I believe” type of thing...I truly believe that regardless of the title of what her teams go under or the specific reasons or goals they may have, they are there to spread love. Who can argue with that?
I am flying to Chile, under the banner of a Mountaineering School that I am attending, but that doesn't mean that I can't spread the love that I have received in my life with the people that I come into contact with. In fact, I think it is important to love people no matter where you are, who you are with, or what you've experienced in life. You may have a lot of pent up anger, a boat load of bottled up potent hatred that you are bound and determined to hold onto for some reason... but why? We have ALL been wronged in some fashion or another. Some of us have been lied to, some of us have been betrayed, some of us have been cheated, some of us have had people we care about taken away seemingly prematurely and unfairly, some of us have been beaten, and some of us have been raped. These are terrible, awful, horrendous wrong doings that have no excuse for happening, but regardless of what injustices have been done to you why do you hold on to such negativity? Its natural to feel anger and hatred...they are emotions that we are hardwired to have, just like happiness and joy. But we have a choice to let them go before they consume us and take the joyful moments away, strip the happy thoughts and memories from us. We all have that choice. If you let a small scratch or cut on your arm or leg get infected and grow into a more serious, gangrenous wound, it will start to spread to and affect more of your body. It will start to affect more than just the little cut it once was. If you don't deal with it when its small, giving it the attention it needs to be taken care of when it first happens, and you let it fester and ignore it, it WILL get worse, more painful, and continue to effect you more and more. Eventually, if left long enough, it could need to be amputated...forcing you to either cut it off and get rid of it, or if you chose not to, it could ultimately take your life....No one chooses that from the beginning, at least not consciously, but by ignoring or pushing it away when it happens doesn't make it go away. Same is true with hatred. It hurts when we've been wronged. And its easy to not deal with it because it hurts dealing with painful things, but if you push it away and let it fester in you for weeks, months, years, or even decades it WILL resurface as something so fierce you won't even recognize it as the thing it once was. Deal with it and be done...don't hold on to hate.
I have been doing a lot of thinking about this school that I am attending and it has been a huge struggle for me and very daunting to deal with this knee injury that is largely unknown and confusing. It doesn't make sense, but I’m facing it and I’m choosing to do everything that I can to meet it head on not become the victim and feel sorry for myself, but rather use this to become a stronger person, a stronger leader. I may ultimately fail in what I set out to do, but my perceived end point isn't the only thing that drives me. The experiences I am gaining, the trials I am facing, and the strength which I am forming are what is ultimately going to guarantee my success. What that success means or looks like specifically, I can't put into words right now, but I’m going for it full tilt...and I couldn't do it if I stayed stuck on being the victim, thinking of what could be if I wasn't injured...because this is what is, nothing else....i choose my reality and my reality is I am on a flight to Chile to meet up with 4 other amazing guys all training to be awesome mountain guides! I will do the best that I am possibly capable, I will keep a good positive attitude and I will share the love of that I have to share because that is what I choose!
My mom is the Director of World Missions at her church in Salem, where I grew up. I love my mom more than anything in the world...shes my mother, why wouldn't I? She is one of the most well traveled individuals I have ever known. She doesn't travel to popular places, stay at resorts, or frankly doesn't even enjoy some of the trips that she goes on. Nor does she go to try to fix the world with her religion claiming that they are simply lost souls needing to convert to her way of thinking or her own personal convictions. She goes in support of people who live there, she develops personal relationships with people and builds on those relationships even after her short visit, in order to serve them better. My mom and I do not always see eye to eye on a lot of life’s finer points, but I respect her for the work that she does. I respect her for going out of her comfort zone and doing what she does, loving on people in a way she describes as sharing the love of Jesus and sharing it with people who may not know that anyone in this world (or any other world) loves them. Its not a forced “you must believe what I believe” type of thing...I truly believe that regardless of the title of what her teams go under or the specific reasons or goals they may have, they are there to spread love. Who can argue with that?
I am flying to Chile, under the banner of a Mountaineering School that I am attending, but that doesn't mean that I can't spread the love that I have received in my life with the people that I come into contact with. In fact, I think it is important to love people no matter where you are, who you are with, or what you've experienced in life. You may have a lot of pent up anger, a boat load of bottled up potent hatred that you are bound and determined to hold onto for some reason... but why? We have ALL been wronged in some fashion or another. Some of us have been lied to, some of us have been betrayed, some of us have been cheated, some of us have had people we care about taken away seemingly prematurely and unfairly, some of us have been beaten, and some of us have been raped. These are terrible, awful, horrendous wrong doings that have no excuse for happening, but regardless of what injustices have been done to you why do you hold on to such negativity? Its natural to feel anger and hatred...they are emotions that we are hardwired to have, just like happiness and joy. But we have a choice to let them go before they consume us and take the joyful moments away, strip the happy thoughts and memories from us. We all have that choice. If you let a small scratch or cut on your arm or leg get infected and grow into a more serious, gangrenous wound, it will start to spread to and affect more of your body. It will start to affect more than just the little cut it once was. If you don't deal with it when its small, giving it the attention it needs to be taken care of when it first happens, and you let it fester and ignore it, it WILL get worse, more painful, and continue to effect you more and more. Eventually, if left long enough, it could need to be amputated...forcing you to either cut it off and get rid of it, or if you chose not to, it could ultimately take your life....No one chooses that from the beginning, at least not consciously, but by ignoring or pushing it away when it happens doesn't make it go away. Same is true with hatred. It hurts when we've been wronged. And its easy to not deal with it because it hurts dealing with painful things, but if you push it away and let it fester in you for weeks, months, years, or even decades it WILL resurface as something so fierce you won't even recognize it as the thing it once was. Deal with it and be done...don't hold on to hate.
I have been doing a lot of thinking about this school that I am attending and it has been a huge struggle for me and very daunting to deal with this knee injury that is largely unknown and confusing. It doesn't make sense, but I’m facing it and I’m choosing to do everything that I can to meet it head on not become the victim and feel sorry for myself, but rather use this to become a stronger person, a stronger leader. I may ultimately fail in what I set out to do, but my perceived end point isn't the only thing that drives me. The experiences I am gaining, the trials I am facing, and the strength which I am forming are what is ultimately going to guarantee my success. What that success means or looks like specifically, I can't put into words right now, but I’m going for it full tilt...and I couldn't do it if I stayed stuck on being the victim, thinking of what could be if I wasn't injured...because this is what is, nothing else....i choose my reality and my reality is I am on a flight to Chile to meet up with 4 other amazing guys all training to be awesome mountain guides! I will do the best that I am possibly capable, I will keep a good positive attitude and I will share the love of that I have to share because that is what I choose!
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